You've decided to become a serial killer

Was thinking a good knifing, but thinking about it, the blood would get everywhere. I reckon strangulation using a rope would be the hardest thing to catch.

Reckon if I just did one kill every other time I went to a Countdown event, I could get away with it for a long time. Until the police browse this thread anyway.

Not one person using an icicle as a murder weapon yet. Ludicrous.

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I’d be living in consonant fear

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I’m one of the less serial killery people in the community too, so there’d be like 50 suspects they’d interview ahead of me!

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I have a twin sister. We are not identical but still look very similar so it shouldn’t be too difficult to get her sent down for my crimes.

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WHAT IF I STAB THEM WITH AN ICEPICK WHILST ALSO IN A RIVER?

I could murder someone that she knows but I don’t really know, like one of her work colleagues. No one would suspect a thing

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Calling card:

Signature: death by people’s elbow.

not long.

But what if it’s a genetic desire to kill?

http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2090549_2090540_2090536,00.html

I’m going to upgrade my chances of being caught to ‘never’.

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Oh shit. I’m also weirdly obsessed with the silent twins. June and Jennifer Gibbons - Wikipedia

(I also hope nothing happens to anyone she knows now that I’ve posted this on the internet).

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@moousee is the Manchester Pusher

Funny you should use Richard as a hypothetical name, seeing as this lad would be suspect #1Author Richard Brittain jailed for 'bad review' attack - BBC News

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cop #1: god what is that smell
cop #2: must be some serious decomp in here
cop #1: the body is still warm, can only have been dead an hour at most…
cop #2: mother of god…

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I’d use an incredibly long range sniper rifle. Drive to hillsides (different car each time) looking over towns in different parts of the country. Shoot someone at random and disappear. Lay low for months or years before killing again.

  • With the use of the sniper rifle the police would assume it’s some ex-military type rather than Johnny Admin. So long as I’m careful not to be seen I’d never be suspected. Too far from the scene of the crime for the police to find any evidence.
  • They’d be interviewing ex-military types because there’s zero chance of Johnny Admin killing anyone with a super long range sniper rifle on purpose. It’d take me years to successfully murder anyone. I’d probably get bored and give up.

I’m pretty sure I could source a sniper rifle. You just google ‘best budget sniper rifle dark web’ right?

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ok i’m changing my mo -

i’m leaving that book as my calling card and only murdering women, probably by smashing them on the head with bottles

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that sounds really good

i don’t know who those people are

I would always pick a victim who was at least 80+.

I would then lie in wait until natural causes did its thing and laugh gleefully to myself: “another victim to the world’s laziest serial killer!”

Chance of getting caught: 0