Looks like we have our first victim…

Zombies are so ubiquitous that even jocks know all the secrets.

I have a pot of half eaten tuna and a mug.

reckon I’ll be fine.

would have thought a cricket bat or baseball bat would have been better. the scissors aren’t very long. although on the walking dead (my mam is a big fan) they get right up and wrestle with them, hence the ability to use hammers, chisels, shivs made from tins of beans etc.

I think we can all agree you need to apologise.

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this has done me.

Sack o’ door knobs

Close combat though, when you’re right amongst it, not sure there’s much I’d want more than a sturdy scissor

You’re confusing knowledge with cleverness there.

We’ve both suffered

Got a pair of them, and also one of these that’s a good half metre long, that would probably be good too:

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Thanks to @1101010 for appreciating this age old in-joke.

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Everyone who’s voted for jocks here is GOING TO DIE. Have fun.

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I always sleep next to a claw hammer, so that!

Fuck, only have cushions, an empty mug and my mobile to hand and they’re all useless!