Predict how your club will do in 2022-23

Roll up, roll up get your antibants

(we’ve not done this yet have we?)

Self-indulgent thread cos I wanted to add paragraphs to the other one

CLUB:
LEAGUE PLACING:
CUP PERFORMANCE:
SUCCESSFUL SIGNINGS:
TURKEYS:
MANAGER RATING/10:
PLAYER OF THE SEASON:
GENERAL THOUGHTS:

CLUB: Brighton
LEAGUE PLACING: 10th
CUP PERFORMANCE: 5th round
SUCCESSFUL SIGNINGS: Enciso
TURKEYS: i dont kbow theyll likely be on loan and never seen. Thats how it usually goes
MANAGER RATING/10: 10
PLAYER OF THE SEASON: Caicedo
GENERAL THOUGHTS: positive but cautious as we have a lot of new unproven strikers and the depth in the back is quite shallow these days. But we scored A LOT of goals at the back end of last season and said goalscorers are still there so hopefully the system works going in. Reckon we could give United a ruddy good thrashing day 1

1 Like

CLUB: Leeds
LEAGUE PLACING: 15th
CUP PERFORMANCE: Out early in both
SUCCESSFUL SIGNINGS: Aaronsen, Roca, Kristensen
TURKEYS: Sinisterra
MANAGER RATING: 5/10
PLAYER OF THE SEASON: Gelhardt

GENERAL THOUGHTS:

Honestly have no absolutely no clue. I think we’re the biggest unknown quantity in the Premier League and wouldn’t be surprised if we finish anywhere between 9th and 20th so I’ve averaged that out at 15th.

On the one hand we’ve lost by far our best two players and the manager that turned water into wine and defined us/made us special. I think we were totally unconvincing under Marsch and only stayed up by total fluke/freak results. That could easily be a recipe for bombing and if we don’t get off to a good start, Elland Road could soon turn toxic after staying pretty patient and supportive last season.

On the other hand, would be insane if we suffered another injury crisis like last season. Bamford being fit is massive and Gelhardt looks destined to be a special player. We’ve addressed most of the gaping holes and reinvested the £100million into a deeper and more balanced squad (still need a back-up keeper and new left-back - hopefully before the window closes…).

Additions on paper seem decent, if not quite matching the quality of those we lost. Sinisterra looks a good player but isn’t Raphinha and is already injured and playing for a manager that hates width and wingers so seems destined not to work.

Willing to give Marsch the benefit of the doubt now with a few signings that have been identified to fit the football he’s got in mind and a proper pre-season to instil it. It definitely didn’t work last season but a clean slate now. No excuses if it doesn’t work - sink or swim for him and the board.

3 Likes

CLUB: LFC
LEAGUE PLACING: Top 2
CUP PERFORMANCE: final
SUCCESSFUL SIGNINGS: Nunez, Carvalho
TURKEYS: Perma-Croxlade Chamberlain, Keita to have another lukewarm season
MANAGER RATING/10: Klopp/10 - can’t fault the mad bastard
PLAYER OF THE SEASON: TAA (again), be interesting to see if the departure of Mané improves Salah’s goals too
GENERAL THOUGHTS: A great squad with strength in depth and some key players who’ll rest during the Worls Cuo. Could do with a midfielder to come through & eventually replace Hendo though. Bellingham is the pick. Maybe next summer. I expect it’ll be another season of commanding performances and pushing all the way to the final weeks on most/all fronts

4 Likes

CLUB: Liverpool.
LEAGUE PLACING: 1st.
CUP PERFORMANCE: Might win one of the domestics but can’t see them being given the same focus as last time. Will do well in CL again.
SUCCESSFUL SIGNINGS: Carvalho and hopefully Nunez. Carvalho looks a talent, Nunez will do well but probably be upstaged by Haaland.
TURKEYS: Dunno. Keita?
MANAGER RATING/10: 10. Perfect man for the club.
PLAYER OF THE SEASON: Thiago if he stays fit. A fit and rested Salah will do bits again though.
GENERAL THOUGHTS: Obviously winning is a tough ask with a ridiculously strong and rich City around, but I’m optimistic. Arsenal look dangerous and Spurs will be improved but can’t see either finishing ahead of the top 2. Excited about Carvalho and Elliot.

2 Likes

CLUB: Spurs

LEAGUE PLACING: 3rd

CUP PERFORMANCE: think we’ll reach a semi or maybe the final and fall just short surprisingly!

SUCCESSFUL SIGNINGS: Bissouma will give us someone that can receive the ball and turn/open up the pitch as well as drive forward with a bit more purpose than Hojbjerg does.
Perisic will be class on the left with Son.
Lenglet could go either way but he looks like a brilliant ballplayer and the prospect of having that and Romero’s ability is very lovely.

TURKEYS: Spence is a club signing rather than someone Conte was desperate for, though he can’t be any worse than Royal.
Richarlison will be a really useful player to bring on and kill games/dive/rile up the opposition but not sure he actually adds much other than that.

MANAGER RATING/10: 7 if we get closer to Liverpool and City, obviously a 10 if we manage to get over the line with a trophy.

PLAYER OF THE SEASON: Kane looks absolutely ripped and fit as fuck so I reckon he’ll bang in loads.

GENERAL THOUGHTS: slightly worried about the amount of new players we need to hit the ground running but generally confident and excited

2 Likes

CLUB: Fulham
LEAGUE PLACING: 16th
CUP PERFORMANCE: shite
SUCCESSFUL SIGNINGS: Palhinha, Mbabu
TURKEYS: Pereira
MANAGER RATING/10: 8
PLAYER OF THE SEASON: Palhinha
GENERAL THOUGHTS: still need a keeper and a cb but seem like we’ve made fairly sensible moves so far and have always liked the look of Mbabu, 7m seems a steal when Neco Williams is more than double that. The yoyo thing is a fair enough dig but the last 2 times were playoffs, this time its off the back of walking the league. Silva’s teams have all looked pretty fluent at prem level and if Mitro’s fit we’ll carry a threat. Think there will be 3 worse teams than us and even if not we should be a decent watch.

2 Likes

I’m hopeful that improved Spurs & Arsenal teams might take vital points off City

We’ll see

1 Like

We took 6 points from them last season!

Exactly, do that again & Arsenal do that too we win the league

Maybe this season you’ll take seven off them

7 Likes

Some beautiful karma would be Chelsea taking points off them via Sterling.

Arsenal played brilliant against them for a half, let’s not forget that!

1 Like

For Colchester this is definitely the season that years of neglect properly tell and we drop out of the football league so would be quite nice if Fulham can be OK

Can’t see that happening

Reckon Chelsea will implode this season, can’t see Tuchelball & US Franchise SportsCorp seeing eye-to-eye. Then again, maybe they’ll get Poch or someone in and frighten us all

I’ve ordered the dvd

CLUB: Arsenal
LEAGUE PLACING: 5th
CUP PERFORMANCE: Fourth Round of League Cup, FA Cup Semi, Europa League Semi.
SUCCESSFUL SIGNINGS: Jesus, Zinchenko.
TURKEYS: Matt Turner.
MANAGER RATING/10: 8.5/10.
PLAYER OF THE SEASON: Saka.
GENERAL THOUGHTS: The extra European games will expose our lack of strength in depth in certain areas, assuming we don’t sign anyone else. No genuine backup for Partey is a worry because he’s key to our play but misses far too many games. Expect Martinelli to have a massive season. Him and Jesus linking up is a very exciting prospect, but expect Saka to step up even more by adding more goals. Saliba to be in the running for young player of the season.

I don’t think we’ll win anything and I don’t think we’ll finish in the top four but I think we’ll look very decent for most of the season, but have two dodgy runs due to the above that kill our hopes. I’d be pretty happy with the above though, would undeniably be an improvement.

1 Like

Yeah he’s going to be annoyingly good

1 Like

Club: Burnley

League placing: A memorable season but we just fall short. 3rd and an agonising defeat in the playoff semis to West Brom.

Cup performance: Beat Sutton, Forest Green, Barnsley and Spurs to somehow make the FA Cup semis but have an agonising defeat to West Brom. Lose in the 3rd round of the League Cup to Manchester City in the Kompany derby but at least this time it’s on penalties

Successful signings: Josh Cullen, Ian Maatsen, Samuel Bastien, Arijanet Muric, whoever this “Manuel Benson” character is.

Turkeys: Honestly don’t think there will be any and all of VK’s signings will at least impress and work hard but we’ll be denied automatic promotion by bizarre injuries like Scott Twine dropping a jar of (£35.99 Fortnum & Mason borrowed from Fulham fans’ train buffet) salad cream on his foot

Manager rating/10: Very early days right now but he’s done pretty much everything right on and off the pitch and totally refreshed the image and direction of the club - 8

Player of the season: Josh Cullen

General thoughts: We’re Vincent Kompany’s Claret and Blue Army, he’s muscled in from Brussels to make us play pure Remainball and suddenly everybody likes us. No, I can’t believe it either. I don’t particularly romanticise the Championship as we were in Europe four years ago under the manager some now seem to be a bit ungracious towards, but it’ll be nice going into every fixture not resigned to thinking “just make sure we lose by less than five”, great fun facing Blackburn, Blackpool, Preston and Wigan for the first season ever, and after two seasons of gritting our teeth and quietly accepting our fate there really does seem a fresh sense of optimism and adventure among our fans. Bring it on!

3 Likes

CLUB: Newcastle
LEAGUE PLACING: 8th
CUP PERFORMANCE: Not sure
SUCCESSFUL SIGNINGS: Sven Botman
TURKEYS: Joelinton
MANAGER RATING/10: 8/10
PLAYER OF THE SEASON: Bruno Guimaraes
GENERAL THOUGHTS: I’m pretty excited actually. Only my second season watching the Premier League so still learning the nuances. General feel is Vegas likes Newcastle to climb the ranks a bit, maybe their first top 10 PL finish in ten years? Think it could happen. From what I saw of Bruno Guimaraes, he looked like a very promising young player. Saint Maximin came out with a lot of flare early and became almost non-existent after injury. Back line should be well improved with Botman I would think. Don’t like the goal keeper situation still but think Howe did a very good job keeping club up and gaining solid momentum Feb. on. Beat Nottingham Forest and Brighton with a draw against either Liverpool or Man City in the first 5 matches and it’s giddy up time for the Magpies.

2 Likes