Ranking every Madonna single

Music
1

Midge has had a pretty varied career over the years. from bonafide classics to absolute embarrassments, there’s something for everyone but whats Top of the Pops and whats the Turd of the Herd, lets have a go and sort it out

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2

theres fucking 97 of them

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3
  1. Everybody

I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard this before. it’s very disco influenced which is normally a genre I’d throw in the bin but this is pretty decent. the chorus is proper repetitive but the rest of the vocals work. there’s a nice little break in the middle where she whispers over the synths, doesnt feel like a debut single at all. this girl’s gonna go far

  1. Everybody
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4

Ranging from some of the most sublime pop music ever recorded to the absolute depths of the bin. Interesting exercise.

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5

I’ve always called her The Manhattan Robbie

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6

Except that she has good music as well as the shite.

…Feel is ok though. Will give him that one.

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7

I just looked at the list, reckon the first thirty or so are all varying degrees of banger (apart from three or four I genuinely have no recollection of at all, maybe they are bangers too). After that, well it’s going to be a long sixty seven songs.

8

— an unmarried Italian judging statues

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9

Hanky Panky isn’t last on the list!?

EDIT - just realised that a) this is chronological and b) early Madonna is pretty great!

10

Burning Up

its very new wavey and bass led. quite a difference from Everybody, do you get new artists coming out who don’t really embrace a genre but dip their toes in the trends at the time? dunno, guess people will say they’re just jumping on whatever is popular. like with Everybody I find the verses and bridges a lot more interesting than the chorus which is again quite repetitive. Everybody had a bit more to it and this has the 80s synth that sounds a bit cheesy now so I would rank it BUT it was a double A side with

Physical Attraction

I wonder why its a double A side but there’s no video for this. now this runs the gamut of every 80s sound, its all there. because of that it does sound pretty dated but ol MIdge does have this weird voice where it’s not the best ‘technically’ but there is something pretty commanding and elevating to it where even a song like this which I can’t say is something I would go for at all does make me want to keep listening.

  1. Everybody
  2. Burning Up/Physical Attraction
4 Likes
11

Really enjoyed the Robbie thread so I’m looking forward to following this one. Thanks to Todd in the Shadows and his Cinemadonna series, I know all about Madonna’s film career but I’m actually not super familiar with her music. I did listen to her new album the other week (verdict: not sure what all the fuss is about) but prior to that I could probably have counted on one hand the songs of hers that I’d actually heard all the way through.

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12

Oh this thread has the potential to make me woop and jeer in equal measure. I’m excited.

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13

Can’t wait for you to get to Hanky Panky.

14

nor can I!

15

there is a music video to Physical Attraction, turns out it just wasnt showing on Google

only three singles in and we’re onto one of our Modge classics and this is possibly where I already get peoples pitchforks out because I really don’t like this song, i’ve not really enjoyed how dated some of the instrumental choices have sounded but they’ve been second to the strength of the songs but I just find this all really cheesy. it doesn’t go anywhere and the lyrics make it sound like it could’ve been a Sinitta or a Sabrina song. I don’t actually know how Holiday is thought of by Mudge’s fans nowadays but for me its very of its time and should stay there

  1. Everybody

  2. Burning Up/Physical Attraction

  3. Holiday

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16

Fully agree! The tinny production has always jarred me and it feels like a limp way to open the Immaculate Collection.

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17

This music video is giving me vivid flashbacks to my childhood. It’s the ‘90s, I’m seven years old, I want to watch TV but I can’t because mum is doing one of her exercise videos

18

Holiday is a direct rewrite/ripoff of ABC’s The Look of Love (which has a vastly superior Trevor Horn production)

Change my mind

19

The lyrics to Holiday let it down, but the sound is 80s pastel window-down glory.

(possibly influenced by the cassette of the Immaculate Collection that my parents had in the jeep we hired in Corfu.)

God TIC is great. A glaring omission from my top 100 thread.

1 Like
20

For the love of Madonna, please change Burning Love (Elvis) to Burning Up in the table. This is going to be a long old thread.

Excellent.

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