Things that bands with loads of money should do


KoRn should play the Corn Exchange in Cambridge. Why not?


Withdraw the money in cash, take it to Jura, then set it on fire.


Try and make a good album


Would love to see Sam Smith do a Scott Walker.


Open a teashop
Start a wrestling federation
Date Tila Tequila
Tarnish own legacy


Billy Childish has opened a coffee shop. But that doesn’t count, I think, because he made money from doing paintings rather than music.


Text all their mates and form a superband


Make their gig tickets a little bit cheaper.


limp biscuit should open a global chain of biscuit shops that only sell really gooey soggy cookies. one of them could be called the ‘nookie’ cookie. and ‘chocolate starfish’ could be… nevermind


Try and bring out a replica piece of Stonehenge, but it comes out much smaller than planned and it’s embarrassing for all involved.


Use their financial clout to muscle the less rich (and therefore less good) bands into breaking up.


Discuss the rise of fascism


Just put their feet up, have a lovely break and not work so hard - they’ve earnt it!


Start up a side project where they play the music they really love rather than the shite that makes them a fortune.


Yeah, side projects are usually great


More Carpool Karaoke


Give me a bit of cash.


Write and produce a rock opera about Jack the Ripper


Kill jester


Invest wisely, give a bit to charity