Things that bands with loads of money should do


#1

KoRn should play the Corn Exchange in Cambridge. Why not?


#2

Withdraw the money in cash, take it to Jura, then set it on fire.


#3

Try and make a good album


#4

Would love to see Sam Smith do a Scott Walker.


#5

Open a teashop
Start a wrestling federation
Date Tila Tequila
Tarnish own legacy


#6

Billy Childish has opened a coffee shop. But that doesn’t count, I think, because he made money from doing paintings rather than music.


#7

Text all their mates and form a superband


#8

Make their gig tickets a little bit cheaper.


#9

limp biscuit should open a global chain of biscuit shops that only sell really gooey soggy cookies. one of them could be called the ‘nookie’ cookie. and ‘chocolate starfish’ could be… nevermind


#10

Try and bring out a replica piece of Stonehenge, but it comes out much smaller than planned and it’s embarrassing for all involved.


#11

Use their financial clout to muscle the less rich (and therefore less good) bands into breaking up.


#12

Discuss the rise of fascism


#13

Just put their feet up, have a lovely break and not work so hard - they’ve earnt it!


#14

Start up a side project where they play the music they really love rather than the shite that makes them a fortune.


#15

Yeah, side projects are usually great


#16

More Carpool Karaoke


#17

Give me a bit of cash.


#18

Write and produce a rock opera about Jack the Ripper


#19

Kill jester


#20

Invest wisely, give a bit to charity