Whether or not I was ‘finally’ going to tidy up the garden, despite having loads of work to do and a kid to entertain, an argument which, of course, I won because now our garden looks really nice and I’m happy I did it (sigh, this is my approach to all conflict resolution)
“You’ve cleaned the bathroom!” – Sure did!
“I WAS GOING TO DO THAT TOMORROW!” – Well… surprise!
“I’ll have to find something else to clean then, and you better not have used up all the Mr Muscle!”
Think I’m gonna start one about the cactus pot he accidentally dropped off his desk on the first day of WFH two weeks ago that smashed and is now sat on top of the microwave, he reckons he’s going to glue it back together but I know he’s never going to get round to it and there’s going to be shards of an ugly pot on top of the microwave until we move house in 5 years
My wife pointedly told me that the sandwich thins I’d opened the day before go hard if not put into a sealed freezer bag.
I nearly responded by calling her out on the fact that all our cereal goes stale because she leaves the box and bag wide open to the elements; but then I realised that it was probably a trap as I suspect she does that deliberately so she can call me out on something that I do as soon as I mention it.
So I said nothing, just went and closed the cereal bags passive aggressively whilst she bagged the thins.
Amazing! I have tried to raise the possibility of reusing mugs and plates throughout the day rather than having a full dishwasher every evening. I have been ignored.
The thing that gets me is when he’s like “we should try to keep the kitchen tidy all the time” and i’m like “are you telling me I don’t tidy up after myself?” and he’s like “no no, i’m just saying we should do this” but my argument is there is no one else here, you can’t possibly be saying this out loud to yourself so you ARE telling me i don’t tidy up also run a hoover round once in your life mate